Creative Writing I: Varying Sentence Structure For Effect

Rapidly they came...

In primary school, when students are made to complete exercises on Synthesis and Transformation, (from my experience tutoring students) I have found that their teachers do not teach them ways of transferring the skill into their own piece of writing. Synthesis and Transformation is important but it is only the first, basic, step towards creating an appropriate effect that is in sync with the writer's intent. Let me give you an example to illustrate the point in the brief poem I had created.

Rapidly they came, like a 21-gun salute,

Exploding into multiple single crackling pops.

The jolly red fire-crackers danced gleefully

As each thick roll jerked heavily back and forth

Before the string of rolls slumped into smoky black ashes.

The sentence, which is made up of the first two verses, starts with an adverb `rapidly' to describe the speed in which the explosive action of the fire-crackers `came' (verb or action word). The sentence does not start with a subject, as is usually the case, but it is a complete sentence, and the use of the adverb is effective here because it focuses the reader's attention on the speed in which the fire-crackers `exploded' into action.

There are multiple ways in which one can be creative in constructing a sentence, and it is good to also keep in mind what you would like to focus on. Let me give you an example and multiple ways in which the sentences can be reconstructed, in other words, synthesised and transformed.

Example taken from the second sentence found in the above poem:

The jolly red fire-crackers danced gleefully as each thick roll jerked heavily back and forth before the string of rolls slumped into smoky black ashes.

1. Before slumping into smoky black ashes, the string of jolly red fire-crackers danced gleefully as each thick roll jerked heavily back and forth.

2. As each thick roll jerked back and forth, the jolly red fire-crackers danced gleefully before the string of rolls slumped into smoky black ashes.

3. After having danced gleefully, as each thick roll jerked heavily back and forth, the jolly red fire-crackers now lay slumped in smoky black ashes.

What is the intent and effect of each of the above sentences? These variations do not change the meaning of the original sentence. However, there are differences in the presentation of the facts. How do these differences affect the manner in which the reader might view each of the sentence?

These are important questions to ask because when you write, you must consider the effect that you would like to have on the reader. Suggested responses to the questions above will be offered in the next post.